| 2nd Annual HPE Memory Tree |
Dear HPE Families,
I wanted to share with you a special project of Families for HoPE. After my son, Harrison, passed away, I
was unsure what to do with the tree that we put up in his room every
Christmas. I brought this up to Leslie, Sammy's mom, and we brainstormed and decided to use it for a Memory Tree to remember the babies and
children with HPE that have passed away. It seemed fitting to not only honor our
son, Harrison, but the many others as well!
Families for HoPE began this tradition in 2007 by creating a personalized star for each deceased
child in the Families for HoPE database. This year, unfortunately,
there were more stars than space on Harrison's little tree. When a
friend learned this, she made some calls, and one a little bit bigger was
donated along with white lights so we can continue this tradition.
(Thank you, Alison!) Since our family tree is so tall, there wasn't room for my angel that
goes on top, so it is now on the Memory Tree as well!
We wanted to
share this project with everyone so that all will
know that every family is remembered during the holiday season.
Heather Stauft
Vice President of the Board of Directors
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If you have experienced the death of your child, your world has not been the same since that moment. Holidays can be the most joyous or the most painful days of the year. We hope that some of the following suggestions might provide you with inspiration or comfort as you face the holiday season.
- Plan ahead. Listen to your heart and only do the things that feel right to you. Communicate your needs to your family and friends.
- Realize that early decisions or social commitments can be changed if they don't feel right as the time approaches.
- Let others know how they could help--wrapping gifts, baking, addressing cards, shopping, cleaning, etc. This could be a meaningful gift for them.
- Be aware of your feelings and needs. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to not live up to everyone's expectations.
- Modify or make new traditions if it feels right. Just remember to include others who are grieving, especially siblings, in the decision.
- Know that you have choices about decorating for the season, shopping for gifts, etc.
- Talk about your fears and feelings with someone willing to listen.
- Sign your greeting cards in a way that feels right to you. You may wish to include a poem written in memory of your child; include an "in memory of" message as part of your signature; or include a special message about your child. Follow your heart.
- Hang a stocking for your child and invite family members to fill the stocking with special notes or messages.
- Make or buy an ornament for your tree that in some way reminds you of your child.
- Make a donation to a charity of your choice in memory of your child.
- Purchase a gift for another child--one you know or contact an organization to find a child in need.
- If your child has a gravesite, set aside a special time to go to the cemetery and decorate the grave. If there is snow on the ground, build a snowman for your child.
If you would like to share advice or additional ideas with our HPE families, please send a message to info@FamiliesforHoPE.org.
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